Before you read further, here are a few words of wisdom.
A person who has completely given up on their marriage and considers it broken won’t be searching for an article. But you are not that someone.
You are someone going through this tumultuous period and yet have decided to hold on to this courage; please take this as a sign to save your marriage and keep reading to know the seven best tips as given by councilors themselves to save a failed or failing marriage.
Even on the edge of your divorce, there might still be a tiny ray of hope. If you are willing to cross the darkness to get to that light, then these tips might be of great help.
7 Tips To Apply Today Before You Sign Your Divorce Papers
These tips have been certified by many, and they have proven their credibility in many marriages that have been on the brink of breaking.
1. Step Away From The Idyllic Expectations
When we get into a marriage, we bear so many expectations that sometimes we forget that our partners are also people of flesh and blood like us. These are baggage from previous relationships and unrealistic dreams fed by romcoms.
Maybe the reason why you are filing for a divorce is something naturally flawed in the rule of any realistic adult relationship. However, your expectations are running so wild that you cannot halt for a second and think through.
According to statistics in Singapore, almost half of Malay marriages break because of this reason. Therefore, if you are someone suffering through a marriage almost breaking, you should immediately consult marriage counselling in Singapore.
2. It Is Difficult, So Acknowledge It
Falling in love is easy, so is promising the world. However, difficulty ensues after that. This is the reason why you have to think through and prioritize what is important. Everything won’t be as smooth as the honeymoon phase, the love and affection for each other will change, and there will be times when you will heavily doubt it.
However, giving up on marriage shouldn’t be your first thought. The idea of escapism can be toxic. If you want to know.
3. Put Yourself In Their Shoes
This will sound a little unfair at first because, let’s face it, when we are hurting, we tend to get a little selfish. So, at times like this, healing our own hearts becomes more important. But, this is the only time where your partner will appreciate even the trivial effort of your understanding of their side.
This is one act that can make them rethink the whole diversity and separation.
4. Take Time Out For Each Other
When your marriage is on the brink of shattering, it is easy to guess that probably the two of you are already separated. As a result, getting back with your partner for small dates or to spend time with each other can be difficult.
However, in honor of the hope to save the marriage, you can try activities you both enjoy. Remember that you are not consciously doing that just to save the marriage. This is to spend quality time with someone you still care about. Note that family time doesn’t count on this.
Because when you are with your family, the act of pretense increases for the sake of the children.
5. Cut The Negativity
This can be both to stop all the negative self-talk and see the entire relationship with a negative view.
You have to scout through the positive and think about the good memories. Try to remember the reason for your togetherness, rather than always focusing on why you both should separate.
6. Physical Contact
And, no sex is not the only means of physical contact. Every counselor will tell you to increase the physical touch, and it could be as small as holding hands. Proximity is an element that is going to help you bring back memories and the reasoning behind your togetherness.
Do practice hugging each other for at least 20 seconds every day. This will feel like an imposed routine at first, but then the obligation will leave, and the likeness of the habit will follow.
7. Appreciate Each Other
When we marry someone and have been together for so many years, it is very easy to take them for granted. However, when your partner becomes a habit, their presence becomes more of a reflex habit than conscious thought.
This can make the relationship monotonous, and if this is what your marriage life is suffering from, you have to start appreciating your partner. Giving compliments and saying words of appreciation is a habit you should adopt.
This is not to condemn divorces because sometimes they are important but so is accepting the difficulties of married life and working through it, rather than surrendering the affection to the torturous hands of failure on the first chance.
Try to assess the relationship and understand whether you are making the small things big. Maybe there is still a possibility to fix everything.